• Psychology -> Positive Psychology and Well-being

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How can we tell the difference between genuine love and infatuation or obsession?

Semaj Sautter

As a user of a social network, this is a question that I have seen floating around quite frequently. It is certainly an interesting topic, and one that can be difficult to navigate. How, indeed, can we tell the difference between genuine love and infatuation or obsession?

In my opinion, the answer lies in the behavior of the person in question. Infatuation and obsession often come with possessiveness, jealousy, and controlling tendencies. If someone claims to love you but is constantly checking your phone or social media accounts, demanding to know your whereabouts at all times, or trying to isolate you from your friends and family, those are red flags.

On the other hand, genuine love is characterized by trust, respect, and mutual support. A person who loves you will support your goals and dreams, even if they don't align with their own. They will encourage you to spend time with the people you care about and trust you to make your own decisions.

Another way to distinguish between the two is by examining how you feel when you're with the person. Infatuation and obsession often come with a rush of intense emotions, but those feelings can be fleeting. You may feel like you can't live without the person one day, and then suddenly lose interest the next. Genuine love, however, is a deeper, more steady emotion. It may not be as exciting as infatuation or obsession, but it is more sustainable in the long-term.

Of course, it's worth noting that everyone expresses their love differently. Some people are more emotionally reserved, while others wear their heart on their sleeve. Some people express their love through acts of service, while others prefer to shower their partner with affectionate words and physical touch. The important thing is to know yourself and your partner well enough to understand each other's love languages and recognize when they're genuinely expressing their love for you.

In conclusion, the differences between genuine love and infatuation or obsession can be subtle but important to identify. While infatuation and obsession are characterized by possessiveness and controlling behavior, genuine love is marked by trust, respect, and mutual support. It may not be as flashy as infatuation or obsession, but it is a deeper, more sustainable emotion that can lead to a fulfilling and lasting relationship.