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Can self-esteem be boosted by external validation or does it have to come from within?

Kimberlee Scoone

Self-esteem is a complex construct that encompasses the subjective evaluation of oneself as a whole, including one's skills, qualities, and worthiness. Although external validation, such as praise, recognition, or feedback from others, can serve as a source of self-esteem, its long-term effects are limited. In fact, relying solely on external validation can be detrimental to one's self-esteem by creating a reliance on other people's opinions, which can be inconsistent or biased. Therefore, self-esteem must come from within, as it is a result of a person's internal belief system and perception of themselves.

Research has shown that the more a person relies on external validation for self-esteem, the more unstable and insecure their sense of self becomes. This is because the individual becomes more focused on pleasing others and gaining approval rather than developing their own sense of self-worth. Over time, this can also lead to anxiety, depression, and overall dissatisfaction with oneself.

In contrast, individuals who have high levels of self-esteem tend to have an internal locus of control, meaning they believe they have the power to control their lives and take responsibility for their actions. They are also more likely to have developed a positive self-image and a sense of self-efficacy, which is the belief that they can achieve their goals and overcome challenges.

While external validation can be a temporary boost to self-esteem, it is crucial to develop self-validation skills to maintain a healthy sense of self-worth. Self-validation involves accepting and validating one's own thoughts, feelings, and experiences without requiring external confirmation. This can be achieved through self-reflection, mindfulness, and self-compassion.

In conclusion, self-esteem is a multifaceted construct that is influenced by both internal and external factors; however, the long-term effects of external validation are limited compared to self-validation. To maintain a healthy sense of self-worth, it is essential to develop self-validation skills and rely on one's internal belief system rather than seeking validation from others.